Remember to check "the girls"!

As women, we are taught in the earlier years to always check our breasts for anything out of the ordinary.  What is out of the ordinary?  No one ever tells you that part.   We are all unique, which means that as such, our breasts, "the girls", are unique to us.  Some of us don't feel anything out of the ordinary.  Some women are "lumpy", if you will.

I was one of those that never feels anything.  I was a good girl last year and went for my yearly diagnostic mammogram at Northwestern.  I have the diagnostic type due to my family history and a previous tense moment about three years back. Nothing was found in April 2011.  When I got to Prentice Hospital and checked in I also scheduled my next mammogram for April 20, 2012.  I canceled that appointment three weeks before I was to go.

On Sunday, March 25th, while I was relaxing in a hot bath, I remembered to do my check.  It isn't easy to remember when to do this.  Most women, the women that routinely check themselves, use their cycle to know when to check.  Being as I don't have cycles from a previous hysterectomy [will get into that at another time] it is sometimes difficult to remember to check.  Or, it is being just plain lazy, who knows.

Usually I check like I was taught, and, usually there is nothing to feel.  But not this time.  I felt a bump, quite big really, by my own standards, and I felt a panic inside.  I didn't say anything, just thought it might be due to stress.  By the next afternoon I was calling my gynecologist to get an appointment.  I got an appointment the next afternoon.  While he checked my breast, he asked if this was what I was feeling as he was in the same area I felt the lump.  I checked where his hand was and was surprised that he had to ask.  It is a big lump.  He told me he was not going to worry.  He is a very upfront man who I have been with since Amanda was born.  His wording threw me and I quietly listened as he told me again that he was not going to worry but that I should get it checked out.  He stated that they would probably also do an ultrasound and likely a biopsy.  He thought that it was probably a fibroadenoma. I, of course, asked him to repeat the word three times so that I could google it when I got home.

 I called Prentice that afternoon and scheduled a mammogram for the 10th of April.  The best thing about Prentice, they don't let you leave.  If there is something of concern that needs further looking, you stay and they take care of you right away.  I guess you could say I had several mammograms that day.  I went in for the usual work up.  I was asked to sit back in the waiting room while the radiologist checked the films and then went in for more, and more, and more, and more.  I was then taken for an ultrasound.

After having an ultrasound on both breasts I was left to wait in the room while the test was checked.  A few minutes later the doctor comes in.  She tells me she is now going to do my ultrasound.  This was when I knew something was wrong.  I am sure that it is normal for a doctor to come in once in awhile, but that womans intuition was in the back of my mind and in the pit of my stomach.  She found the lump right away and then proceeded to talk to me and show me the lump, the inside of my body.

She showed me the lump which presented as a large black mass in the ultrasound.  She then showed me the gray matter that was all around the lump and running inside of it.  Then, she used the word disconcerting.  The mass along with the gray matter running around and through it were disconcerting.  Well, if they were to her, they were terrifying to me!

I went back to Prentice for a ultrasonic core biopsy the following Tuesday.  Surprisingly, I was not nervous.  The staff at Prentice is genuinely caring and it helps to alleviate the worry.  I was directed to the room and laid on the cushioned table.  I was wrapped in warm blankets and given plenty of pillows to prop myself up in a way that was both comfortable for me and helpful to them.

The test was surprisingly painless and in about 45 minutes I was done.

Now, came the wait.  I was told that I would get a call the next day, regardless of results being in, to see how I was and then if they were not in, I would get the results the next day.  And, so I waited.