It is a fact that we will meet many people in our lifetime. People will come in and out of our lives as we come in and out of others. Some stay briefly, some for years and some forever. Some come into our lives and their importance may not realized until it is too late, or we understand immediately that they will have a profound impact on who we are and they will change us forever.
I have two of the latter. These two new men will forever change who I am. These two men, both incredible in their respective fields, will change me for the better. The first one, Dr. B., will help save my life. The second, Dr. D. will assist in making me feel good about myself as a woman.
Dr. B. is my surgeon. He met with Greg and I at Prentice a couple weeks ago. If you have your mammograms done at Prentice you get out of the elevators on the fourth floor and make a left. I always wondered what would happen if you made a right and now I know. It is for people like me. Cancer patients.
Dr. D. is my plastic surgeon. He met with Greg and I a short time after we saw Dr. B. It is strange to go into the plastic surgery area of a hospital. It would be nice to be there for elective surgery, preferable even. We were given his last appointment of the day so that he could spend as much time with us as we needed. Greg said he was sure that it also had to do with the fact that it would be difficult to be sitting with people who were having cosmetic changes made whereas I just wanted to stay the way that I am.
My surgery will be the 11th of June. I need to be at the hospital at 6 a.m. and my surgery will begin at 7:30. Dr. B. will be operating on me for the first five hours and then Dr. D. will come in and operate the other five. I will be in the ICU at Prentice for one to two days and then in the hospital for another four to five days after my surgery. I will then spend another 7-9 weeks recuperating at home.
It still seems unreal to me that this is happening. I have lost allot of sleep. I have grown anxious and there are times that I can hear others around me talking and I am sitting in the middle of the life around me, feeling like I am Scrooge. My life is going on and I am sitting in it watching from the outside. The sleeplessness makes me feel numb, and I catch myself, saying to myself, "you have cancer".
3 comments:
Anxioty gets the best of us, there are many things in life that do that. I say some prayers and somehow I am finally able to fall asleep. Love ya, G
It sounds like you will be in very good hands with a great team of doctors and nurses. Waiting, though, is so difficult. Be still, know that you are loved, take breaks when you can, close your eyes even for a few moments, breathe through your nose, pray, walk, and remember you are not alone.
Kimberly's advise is great. Add a lot of positive thinking to the mix...it's a strong component to getting well. When you close your eyes at night or just resting, put yourself in a another place, such as a beautiful field of wild flowers on a cool afternoon...set the whole scene for yourself and just relax starting with your toes and work up to the top of your head. You should feel your body relaxxxxx. Prayers are with you.
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